For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
