What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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