My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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