A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
