If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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