You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
