I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
