haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
