Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
