So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize