who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
