She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
