you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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