I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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