i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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