I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
