Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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