your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
