I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
