I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
