i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
