barbara walters just said penis...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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