I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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