He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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