you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
