no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
