i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
No subtext here. People are naked.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
