whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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