Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
