the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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