I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
