If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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