Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
