I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
