Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
