I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
