its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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