I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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