i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
