i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize