If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
