i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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