Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
