the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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