the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
