she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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