They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
