It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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