I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Randomize
