i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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