I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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