she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
