Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Randomize
