Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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