My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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