whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
