I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
